Just stumbled on that article about traumas :
Objectively, I’ve experienced more traumas than the average person living in a free occidental democracy : multiple assaults and rapes, sequestration, bombings…
Yet I NEVER felt I was a victim. I’m not because I’m alive and never gave my aggressors the satisfaction to get what they actually sought.
None of those and none of them have taken their toll on me.
Feeling so led me to not generalize anything and to not believe because it happened once, it would happen again, with any other man or every time I would be under similar circumstances. Every story is a new story, with a new person. Every new story is a brand new experience.
I never thought “why me” and even less “I somehow deserved it”.
Facts are facts and neutral. As the article said, life is neither fair nor unfair. WE perceive it as such because we’ve been conditioned to believe if we are “good”, we will be rewarded, but if we are “bad”, we will be punished.
Nothing is more untrue, it doesn’t work this way. Look around you, you will see plenty of evidences of that.
As soon as you’ve integrated this idea, you’re saved. You understand those events are not related to you or your behavior, but totally random.
Your choice then to decide wether you will let them spoil the rest of your life and prevent you from living and enjoying it to the fullest or wether you will take them for what they are : random facts, experiences among others making you more knowledgeable, more skilled and capable to handle even more even better.
I know what my choice is. What is yours?