A French woman and personal life coach's outlook on self-confidence, communication, and relationships. How to gain and manage them to get what and who you deserve.

You can give up to 3 answers. ;)

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Comments on: "To all the men out there…" (14)

  1. Rodrigo said:

    In my humble opinion, if the date was really nice and pleasant there’s not a chance that I’ll not calling her back. Actually I can’t see no point at all why I should/would not call her back next day.

    • Dot Rose said:

      @Rodrigo : So… could it mean that the woman may have mistaken and thought the date went great when, actually, according to you, it didn’t not ? I mean : if it went great, you woul call, if if didn’t you wouldn’t, would you ? So if you don’t call, it didn’t feel that pleasant to you, although SHE may have appreciated it… Right ?
      That’s yet another possibility, isn’t it ?

      • Rodrigo said:

        Good question! Yes, I think that’s very accurate. I mean, if your date don’t call you back in two or more days, that means something went wrong (even if you thought that was an amazing one). So just an idea for all the ladies, it would be to set up a “deadline”. Let say “three days as max”. If your date won’t call you back in that period of time, it means he’s not interesting in you at all (whatever the reason he could/would/should think, feel or argue).

        Now to the second question: I don’t think that someone would appreciate it won’t be called back after a date. To me, just that idea sound quite “impolite” (just to say it in a very nice way).

        What “I” will do in that particular case (if it wasn’t a pleasant and nice date to me at all). I would probably wait a day or two “max”, and then I’ll call her back.
        IMO, you must call her back, because she deserve to know how it was. I also would like to know how it was for her (you can’t be such a selfish, no?) And third but not less, because you have to be sincere with other people’s feelings.

      • Dot Rose said:

        Thank you for sharing that, Rodrigo.
        I agree in an ideal world where all men (all human beings actually) would be considerate, polite and somehow “brave”, they would always call back, regardless of wether they want the relationship to go further or not. Unfortunately, it is seldom the case and men like you are not the most common. :)

        So I’m glad women can read from a man what it actually means when he doesn’t call back. If you don’t mind, I shall use part of your comment in the article I’m writing on the topic. Because a man’s word is gold when the question is directly related to them. Should a woman hear the same thing from my mouth, it would not have the same impact.

        Thanks again for your honesty. Hopefully, it will help many face the reality. :)

  2. Michael said:

    I don’t want her to think I’m too eager or too needy.

    • Dot Rose said:

      I can understand that, Michael. Actually, I believe many women, from what i’ve seen, don’t like men who seem to easy to get either. Yet, if you did like her, you would call her eventually, would you ? How long after the date though ? A week ? More ? How long ?

      • Michael said:

        A few days maybe. If I like her, not more than that.

      • Dot Rose said:

        Thanks for the clarification. I think many women needed to read that, from a man. Because some are so good at luring themselves, to eventually end disappointed and distrusting, when could they face that reality, they would spare themselves lots of useless pain, in my opinion.

  3. […] Nothing more convincing, in my opinion, than an honest, since anonymous, answer from the concerned party. So I posted a little survey on the topic a few days ago. Please check: https://relationshiptranslator.wordpress.com/2011/02/04/to-all-the-men-out-there/ […]

  4. Michael said:

    I don’t know if she’s really interested in me, or something she said or did makes me think she isn’t really interested in someone like me.

    • Dot Rose said:

      You make an interesting point here, Michael. I’ve heard that often from men… So I guess I should write a post on that topic. I think very often women send mixed messages. A shame for many potentially great opportunities are missed this way !

  5. Michael said:

    Yes, Dot, please write a post about that. I never know if a woman is unintentionally discouraging me or intentionally discouraging me or if I’m misinterpreting what she says or if what she says really doesn’t make that much difference.

    Here’s an example: A woman I know said that she really wants a man over 5’9″. I’m 5’8″. I took that as her telling me she wasn’t interested in me.

    Another example: A woman I know said that she’d really like to be with a wealthy man. I’m not wealthy. I may be some day, but I’m not now. I took that as her telling me she wasn’t interested in me.

    I’ve had wonderful conversations with these women. We have a lot in common. I’m attracted to them. But without a clarification of whether these things are meant to discourage me, I’m confused. So I’ve backed off. And when I’m confused, I won’t call for a date.

    There’s more to say, but I’ll say it if you write the post.

  6. Michael said:

    What I SHOULD have said to those women was, “Does this mean that you aren’t interested in a romantic relationship with me?” But I didn’t. They’re still friends. Maybe they think I’m not interested.

  7. Some women are like that (they can get caught up into the ‘ideal’ man) and then miss out on one of the great ones. But one thing I will tell you is that women find different men attractive for different reasons. Michael, don’t get discouraged. I will give you an example from my life- Once upon a time… I said I would never date a man shorter than me. I know some really great guys today (years later) who I would date and marry if they would just ask. I just had to meet (or recognize) some who were not in the norm for the ones I ‘usually’ go for. Dont forget time even changes the way people see others as well as life in general —

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